AYU-OK  Forum

One of the keys to reducing stress levels is learning how to manage your time more efficiently and taking firmer control of your life. By better prioritising your time, you will be able to set yourself more realistic goals, freeing up essential time for leisure and relaxation. Ways to achieve this might include setting up helpful routines, for example, tidying up your desk at work at the end of each day, so that you will be more organised for the following morning

Another important part of keeping stress under control is taking regular timeout to relax. You will learn the importance of splitting your time between work and leisure, so that you get the balance right and learn to prioritise and delegate tasks. You will also discover mew ways to rest and unwind with complementary therapies and exercises.

One way to cope better in stressful situations is to feel more confident and positive about yourself, particularly during conflict with others. Find out how you can be more assertive, allowing you to be effectively challenge the demands made to you by others and deal with difficult situations in a more relaxed manner. This will help you to build on your own strengths and improve on your weaknesses and hopefully, you won't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. In addition, because you'll be more aware of other people's needs as well as your own, your professional and personal relationships will run more smoothly.

Not only do we laugh when we feel good, the reverse is also true - laughing make us feel good! Laughter causes your body to release endorphins, producing a natural high, boosting your immune system and combating the effects of stress. What's more, learning to lighten up and see the funny side of things will help you to put your problems into perspective.

Before long, you'll notice the physical benefits of tackling the stress in your life. You'll feel healthier and more relaxed as you benefit from a better quality of sleep, more energy and even better sex life. Other benefits you are likely to experience include a stronger immune system, more efficient digestive system and lower blood pressure, reducing your risk of many long-term illnesses. You'll also see the psychological benefits of lowering your stress levels, as you'll feel less anxious and more confident.

 If you are suffering from some of these physical, mental or emotional symptoms, you probably are stressed.

If you are experiencing more than three of the symptoms in each of the boxes below, chances are you are suffering from stress. You may have been ignoring these feelings and conditions and assuming them to be part of everyday life, but now is the time to examine them more closely and get to the root cause.

The mental and emotional symptoms of stress can be extremely serious and should be dealt with immediately:

1.  Depression and mood swings
2. Anger, irritability and tearfulness
3. Anxiety, panic attacks and irrational fears
4. Loss of concentration 
5. Decreased confidence and inability to make decisions 
6. Addictions such as alcoholism or drug dependency 

Physical symptoms of stress can become debilitating and worrying, and you should treat your stress before it incapacitates you:

1. Migraine or headaches
2. Insomnia, disturbed sleep or nightmares
3. Dry mouth, clenching jaw or grinding teeth
4. Muscle tension in neck, shoulder and back
5. Frequent colds, flu and infections
6. High blood pressure
7. Increased susceptibility to asthma attacks
8. Nausea, constipation or diarrhoea
9. Changes in eating habits and gastric ulcers
10. Irregular menstrual cycle
11. Reduced sex drive
12. Fatigue or exhaustion

The 'fight or flight' reaction to stress is triggered by adrenaline. Without this hormone, you wouldn't experience stress and would actually be less able to cope with the trials of life. Stress triggers the release of adrenaline from your adrenal glands (above each kidney) into your bloodstream. 

Adrenaline causes your whole body to go into red alert. Your pulse, blood pressure and heart rate increase supplying more blood to your muscles and brain and less blood to your intestines. Your muscles become tensed and ready for action, and you breathe more deeply, preparing your body for combat or escape. At the same time, your body also produces a hormone called noradrenaline, which lowers your blood pressure and gradually helps your body return to normal.

The major causes of stress can be found in all aspects of your life, and the most common triggers are circumstances and listed below:

1. Bereavement - is devastating experience that changes your whole life and can release a while host of emotions such as guilt, regret and anger
2. Divorce or marital separation - The breakdown of a relationship can be a time of immense change - moving home, changing your finances, explaining the circumstances to your children, and so on.
3. Illness or injury - If you are indisposed due to an accident or long-term illness or after surgery, you may feel emotionally low. Worrying about the diagnosis and treatment and later how you will cope with the recovery period, can be extremely stressful.
4. Getting married - What should be one of the most exciting days of your life can also be one of the most stressful, due to all the planning involved. The wedding day also feel like an anticlimax after the build-up of the past six months or year.
5. Redundancy - Losing your job can knock your self-esteem, as well as cause financial and relationship problems.
6. Financial Problems - Financial problems are present in the most families and are often the key cause of arguments between couples.
7. Caring for the infirm & elderly - Caring for others can be very rewarding, but it is also physically and emotionally draining. As a carer you may ignore your needs and feel guilty about time out.
8. Pressure at work - Every job has its own pressures, including poor time management, a lack of communication or support, bullying and office politics.
9. Moving House - Moving house can cause stress and the process of moving can be a constant worry, including finding your home and all the financial implications involved.
10. Family Gathering - Family gatherings can be a very trying time, especially if you are not used to being in such close proximity to your relatives.. There can be a lot of pressure to meet expectations, and it is common for people to reach boiling point over issues that seem trivial and small.

 Stress is hard to avoid in the fast-moving modern world, but there are many ways to deal with it. One of the most important rules is to make sure you don't let small stresses build up into something much more serious. Always ensure that you take a 10-minute break between one stressful task and the next - at home, work or even in your spare time. This will give your mind and body a chance to unwind before you launch into the next potential cause of stress build-up.

If you're feeling particularly frazzled, try carrying out the simple 10-minute stress relieving exercise we will show you over in this blog. You can carry this out anywhere, at any time - on the crowded journey home, in your workplace, or even in a supermarket queue. You'll be amazed at how quickly in helps you to feel much better.

Before you start your de-stress exercise, find a suitable area and try to distract your mind from the stresses around you.

FRESH AIR - If you can, pop outside and find a quiet spot in the fresh air. If you can't, just opening a window will make a difference, even on a bus or train.

AROMATHERAPY - Flowers with strong scent such as geranium and lavender are good for easing anxiety; place a pot plant on your window sill or desk and let the breeze from outside waft its scent around the room. Place a few drops of essential oil on a hankie and breathe in the scent to help you relax.

SOOTHING SOUNDS - Play soothing and melodic music; listening to it through personal stereo headphones is fine, or just imagine it in your mind. The gentle sounds of the sea or harmonious instrumental music with few words are best.

Sit comfortably on a chair, with your back straight and both feet on the ground. If you can't sit down stand as straight as possible without slouching or leaning against anything. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Try to let thoughts pass by, rather than pondering on them or daydreaming.

Make a fist with your right hand and tense all your muscles in your forearm. Hold the tension for five seconds and then exhale out of your mouth and relax your muscles for about 10 seconds. Now do the same on thing for each part of your body. Tighten each group of muscles, hold the release exhaling out of the mouth, then relax fully by closing your eyes and focusing on the natural breathe.

Next, try to recall a place or time where you felt content and relaxed, Use your imagination to reconstruct the place and how you felt when you were there. It might have been a beach holiday or mountains where you went hiking, Let yourself become totally immersed in the scene.

Once your mind and body are completely relaxed, let go of your stress. Visualise a stream of light or energy pouring through your body and washing your stress away, or imagine the stress leaving your body with each breath out. Picture yourself getting through the rest of the day without stress by trying to anticipate and potentially difficult situations. Thinking about how you can get through them calmly will help you to put this into practice.

Keep your eyes closed and breathe in and out deeply. Enjoy the feeling of relaxation and rest. Move your fingers and toes playfully. Then breathe in  and stretch your arms up over your head. Stretch your legs out in front of you. Now open your eyes.

CHECKOUT HERBAL HEALTH FOREST - For herbs and tonics that help relieve stress

Good communication is crucial for reducing your stress levels. When we are misunderstood or criticised, we are misunderstood or criticised, we feel isolated and defensive. When conflict arises at home or work and we cannot discuss it in a constructive way, we often feel stressed and angry. 

In any situation, let the other person know you are listening by nodding and making eye contact. Respond regularly by saying 'yes' or 'uhuh' and don't be afraid to ask for an explanation if you don't understand.

Remember that constructive criticism in the best way to deal with any conflict. Always refer to the person's actions and behaviours, not to be person, for example 'I disagree with the way you handle your child', not 'You're a bad parent'. Equally, if someone is criticising you, try to listen without becoming defensive.

 

1. Talk face to face  when possible, to encourage good work relationships

2. Write faxes and emails early in the day, as your communications skills deteriorate as you get tired

3. Listen to what others say even if you don't agree

4. Criticise constructively and try to be specific

5. Try to resolve problems without losing control of your emotions

6. Try not to avoid conflict or touchy subjects - its better to talk in through

7. Try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and listen to what they are saying

8. Express your opinions even if other people don't share them

9. Try not to get upset when someone disagrees with you

10. Admit when you are wrong or angry

Get in touch with your feelings. Being aware of how you feel - whether its anxious, depressed o angry - is the first step to dealing with stressful problems. This means taking time out from work and family to be alone. Keep a journal, take a walk on the beach or go and see a counsellor or therapist. Be honest with yourself.

At time of stress, we all need support from friends and family. If you feel overwhelmed by events, its good to get a new perspective on the problem. Share your feelings with people you trust, so you don't end up feeling exposed and even more stressed. But remember, friends may have their own problems so be prepared to listen as well as talk.

Choose a time when the other person can listen - not when they are rushing out of the door. If your friend is too busy, let them know you have a problem and ask if they can set aside some time in the near future for you to talk.

Never be afraid to say what you think, fell and believe. If you disagree with someone, try to a so. This can be hard if you are afraid they will be upset or angry, but in the long run communicating clearly will lead to better relationships and lower stress levels.

Under stress it's easy to distort problems, exaggerate the significance of an event or make sweeping generalisations. When explaining a problem to someone, always be as specific, realistic and objective as you can.

Cry when you feel hurt or grief. These feelings are the natural result of change and loss and a good cry can get them off your chest. Make time to honour and express your feelings. Perform a simple ritual like lightening a candle. Not giving yourself time to grieve can cause long -term stress and damage your health.

Take responsibility for your mistakes and feelings of remorse or guilt,. Making amends will relieve your stress and improve your relationships. Write a card if you cant say it face to face. Once you have righted any wrongs , you'll be able to move on and leave your feelings of guilt behind.

Give yourself time to feel happy! Stressed people often don't take time to laugh and feel pleasure and pride in their own achievements. Tell a friend why you're proud of yourself. Go out and celebrate, or buy yourself a present.

1. Never shout at or hit another person when they are angry

2. Be direct and assertive. Don't express anger in passive ways such as the 'silent treatment'

3. Discharge aggression by hitting pillows or screaming - by yourself. Or do some strenuous exercise

4. Put your anger into words. Before you approach the person, write down 'I am sorry because ...'

5. Tell the person why you are angry in as calm and reasonable tone as possible

6. If you become furious again, ask if you can leave the conversation and come back when you feel calmer and can express your thoughts more clearly

7. Give the other person time to respond. Remember that many people find anger frightening

8 Be brave - expressing anger doesn't have to mean being out of control.

STRESS in the OFFICE builds up when you have a heavy workload, long hours and tight deadlines, conflicts with colleagues or your boss, or lack of support and advice. Unpleasant working conditions such as crowding, constant interruptions, noise pollution or not enough natural light, may also contribute to work-related stress.

Its often hard to accept that our own attitudes can contribute to stress at work. If you're an over-achiever, you may have a calendar crammed for too full of activities. If you find it hard to say "no", you may be over-extended and overwhelmed. If you are perfectionist you may find it difficult to delegate work to another person. These sources of stress can be overcome by managing your time better, being more assertive and improving your communication skills

SIMPLE WORK STRESS - BUSTERS

No matter how much work you have to do, its always good to take a five-minute break between tasks. This gives you the chance to wind down and literally catch your breath. A stress-relieving tonic tea can also ease frazzled nerves

 

Make sure you start the day in the right frame of mind. Get up early and give yourself plenty of time to get ready. Running for the bus at the last minute, trying to fix your make-up en route and arriving 30 seconds before that vital meeting starts, are all sure-fire ways to begin the day feeling flustered.

Break your day into as series of manageable tasks. Instead of thinking of the day as a whole, look at it as 10 separate tasks, and place the in order of importance. If you complete nine of them, not having time to complete the last one probably won't matter

Learn to say "no". Be assertive about your needs and don't be afraid t ask for help when you need it. Your colleagues may not realise how much work you have - if you really don't  have time to take on another task, they will understand. Don't be afraid to delegate if you don't have time to deal with everything yourself.

Have a proper lunch break - away from your desk. Eating health food rather than junk snacks will help keep your stress levels down. Also, taking a break allows you to step back from any problems and will perhaps enable you to see a new way of dealing with them.

Take responsibility for your errors and admit them as soon as they happen. There's nothing more stressful than worrying about when your boss is going to find out about your slip up. Being honest about it will go a long way to making amends

At the end of each day, take five minutes to tidy your desk. That way you'll know exactly where everything is in the morning and won't waste time trying to remember where you left that vital memo.

You have a right to feel happy and proud of yourself sometimes. Stressed people often don't take the time to feel pride and pleasure in their own achievements. Tell your colleagues when you're proud of yourself, and invite them out to celebrate

If things do start to get on top of you, remember that you can always do the 10 minute stress-relief (as above) 

Differing attitudes to money can be stressful, particularly in marriage. Honesty and realistic goal-setting will help you to work together. Take your holidays when you earn them and don't work anymore than you must. Make time for your partner, children and friends. Divorce or the death of someone you care about can be tremendously stressful. Allow yourself to be angry, grieve or commemorate the end of your relationship in whatever way feels right.

1. Dedicate more time to being with your partner, family and friends

2. Buy your favourite person a bunch of fresh flowers

3 Share your feelings, thoughts and beliefs as much as possible.

4. Assert your own needs, even if you are afraid of rejection.

5. Express anger assertively - not with overt or passive aggression as this is never interpreted in a good light

6. Be clear about money and financial arrangements form the outset.

7. Don't avoid conflict or touchy subject. Discuss problems openly.

8. Take time out for yourself; take some private time

9. Keep your promises to yourself and others

10. Laugh a lot; it's the best medicine to keep you healthy.

The mood you are in when you awake if often linked to the way you were feeling when you went to sleep. If you had issues that were unresolved before you turned in, then you will have a bad nights sleep leaving you feeling physically and emotionally drained when you wake.

It is a familiar scenario in every household: your alarm failed to wake you on time so you are already feeling anxious. As your mental clarity returns, the worries that you experienced last night have returned, making your stomach ache. You push it and get up to go to the bathroom, but someone has beaten you to it! Eventually, you're ready to head downstairs for breakfast, but there's no coffee/tea/cereal/toast for you as someone has beaten you yet again and finished the last of it. Getting out of the house is turning into a trial and your day has only just begun. 

Getting up and out of your house can send your stress levels soaring 

People suffering from stress often have trouble falling asleep and wake feeling unrefreshed. Eight hours of sleep is the standard, but it us the quality of sleep that is most important. Insomnia is often fuelled by symptoms of stress, which produce high levels of adrenaline causing disturbed sleep patterns.

IMMUNE RESPONSE - Al lack of sleep can have devastating effects on your health. How can your body recover and heal when it is fighting to simple keep you awake? Research shows that a lack of sleep is bad for your immune system and this who experience stressful times and lose sleep are more susceptible to illnesses, which will only serve to further exacerbate feelings of stress.

Getting a good nights sleep is vital to ensuring that you wake up in the morning feeling revived. To create a restful sleep environment, ensure that the bedroom is kept cool; sleeping in a room that is too hot can leave you feeling groggy the next morning. Ensure the lighting is dim and that your bed is as comfortable as possible. During your lifetime, you will spend a large amount of time in bed so make sure the mattress you sleep on is comfortable and never more than 10 years old. You could also try burning an essential oil with relaxing properties such as lavender, an hour or so before you go to bed.

Another way to save time is by sorting out the clothes you will wear tomorrow, today! This means that you will have one less decision to make in the chaos of the morning rush. If you have young children, then doing the same for them is a sure way to avoid getting yourself behind schedule.

Where children are concerned, establishing a routine is essential to a hassle-free morning. Try to organise their lunches before you go to bed the day before. If they need to take items with them to school such as a P.E kit, school bag or permission slips for school excursions, try to sort these out the night before.

Try to fix in your house where you can leave the house and car keys, letters that you need to post and your bag, and so on. Not having to hunt around for these items will save you precious minutes when you need them the most in the morning, and removed the stress that this inevitably causes.

Scrambling around the kitchen for breakfast in not a pleasant activity but there are ways to save time here as well. Maybe you can set up a rota so that people take in turns to set breakfast out. This takes the pressure off you and shares the responsibility. A handy tip is to have a pin board with a pad on it for food items should write it on the list, that way part of your shopping list is already compiled.

With all these points, the essence is to give yourself time enough not to rush. Establishing a routine or putting structures in place can help everyone to get out of the house with everything they need and without causing delay. By implementing these points and planning ahead, you can help minimise any confusion created first thing in the morning.